I do not regularly steal merchandise
But when I walk into Lowe’s, I undergo
metamorphosis. I have stolen mostly pipe fittings, Copper
first by mistake, then PVC
by intention. It is good to steal
from Lowe’s. It is rebellion, revolt
against fluorescent uniformity, against
the potting soil next to the Raid,
scraped from the tops of meadows
before sticks are tilted up and stuck
with stone veneer, which is not stone
but plastic mixed with cement, and it smells
a lot like Lowe’s. In the veneer is a hollow door
with mahogany coloring and two frosted
sidelights with white people inside, mom, dad and two
kids. Dad’s rubbing one out in the master bathroom
while mom’s fishing Chef Boyardee
out of the walk-in pantry, next to the
fluorescent energy save bulbs that dad picked up
from Lowe’s, but were the wrong color temperature.
He’ll return them sometime; next time he needs
some lug nuts, or some Raid for when the bees
have made their home under the patio and cousin Billy
almost gets stung on his ass. These lug nuts
slide into my pocket for you, Billy; these are for you!