Frank Bruni is an op-ed columnist at The New York Times and the author of Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be: An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania. He has been a restaurant critic, White House correspondent, movie critic, and religion writer. Before he participated in a discussion about what universities are for, he talked about the one magnet on his refrigerator, being asked on dates by people he’s never met, and his funniest New York Times colleague.
What was the first album you bought?
I think it was Queen’s A Night at the Opera.
What was the most frustrating newspaper assignment you ever got?
I once did a long story for the Times where I had to try to find people who were living in a ridiculously crowded way because we were trying to document fire hazards. There was a lot of walking around very odd neighborhoods looking for doors that had nine doorbells where there should be one. Then we had to get people to invite us in to see what was what. It was incredibly tedious and incredibly awkward and incredibly time-consuming.
Which of your colleagues tells the best jokes?
I’ll say my friend Jennifer Steinhauer. She’s a very animated person. I introduced her recently to a friend of mine who I thought would become a friend of hers. And he said she’s got such a particular verbal style and animation that it was like watching TV. Being around her was like watching TV. She’s some sort of hyper reality all her own.
What college application did you have the most angst over?
I didn’t apply to many colleges. I applied early to Yale and was fortunate enough to get in and then I was awarded—without really applying for it—a Morehead scholarship to the University of North Carolina. I was able to circumvent the whole process.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I spend too much money on wine. I spend too much money on skin care.
What’s hanging on your refrigerator?
I have only one magnet. I like the stainless steel expanse and sheen of the refrigerator. There’s only one tiny magnet and it’s only for giggles. It is of the current pope, Pope Francis.
Do you have any recurring dreams or nightmares?
Yes, I have a dream I’ve had my whole life and every time I have it, it feels unbelievably real. It involves college. It involves the math class I took sophomore year to fulfill a requirement. It was a gut—Math 3. It had the whole basketball team in it—Michael Jordan was in it. I went to it twice the entire semester. The dream is based on that: I realize toward the end of the semester that I’ve failed to go to three of the classes I signed up for. I have to figure out if it’s humanly possible to make up for lost time or if I have to get the professor to let me out. It’s a whole sweaty nightmare.
What’s the weirdest comment you’ve ever gotten on one of your columns?
I don’t know what qualifies as weird. I’ve had people claiming we know each other and we don’t. I’ve been asked out on dates by people I’ve never met. I’ve had people suggest I have a sex change operation because I’m a woman. That was a reaction to columns that are gay-supportive. We all get something from inmates because they have a lot of time.
What’s your favorite condiment?
Mayonnaise. I don’t eat it a lot anymore. I think mayonnaise is pretty magical.
How did you get into trouble as a kid?
Mostly talking back to my parents. Being a wiseass or a wiseacre.