CONNECTING PEOPLE TO IDEAS AND TO EACH OTHER
CONNECTING PEOPLE TO IDEAS AND TO EACH OTHER

Donald Trump Is Living in My Closet

My Trump Hasn't Made Any Racist Statements or Told Any Lies—but I Still Don't Know What to Do With Him

President-elect Donald Trump speaks during a news conference in the lobby of Trump Tower in New York, Jan. 11, 2017. Photo by Evan Vucci/Associated Press.

I have a confession to make: Donald Trump is imprisoned in my closet.

He’s been in there for months, and I haven’t dared to let him out, for fear that his presence might be discovered. What’s worse, now that he’s president I’ve come to realize that my treatment of Trump does not conform with the Geneva Convention. He’s spent all this time in a tiny, dark space, without proper ventilation. I haven’t even bothered to provide him with food or water.

I’m not a kidnapper or a hostage-taker or a …

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