Courtesy of Adobe Stock.

A better-looking version of you 
fleshes out the interesting impulses 
you suppress inside that 
mediocre sweatshirt. 

At last your fantastical love  
scenes receive proper lighting. 
Your meandering dreams? 
Sharpened by focus groups. 
Your ambitions enjoy  
supplemental ad support. 
Your courage, stunt doubles. 
Predictably inferior villains 
serve as target practice for  
your perfectly flung one-liners. 
Witty coworker banter  
serves as calisthenics  
for your perfected politics. 
Sit back and relax as  
the narrator’s witty voice-over  
unpacks the cumbersome symbolism        
making up your life.

W. Vandoren Wheeler is the author of The Accidentalist. He lives with his wife and two daughters in Portland, Oregon.
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