Ambrose Bierce, the American journalist and satirical writer, was born on June 24, 1842 and came to be known as Bitter Bierce for his sharp writing style. One of his best-known works, The Devil’s Dictionary, exemplified this tone by taking ordinary words and offering dark and biting definitions, and insults against every sort of person. While some seem obscure and archaic today – the book was published in 1911 – some are as timely as ever. Below, some excerpted words.

ABNORMAL, adj. Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct, to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.
ACHIEVEMENT, n. The death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.
APPEAL, v.t. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
BRIDE, n. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
BRUTE, n. See HUSBAND.
CONSERVATIVE, n. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.CRITIC, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.
DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one’s country.
ECONOMY, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
EGOTIST, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
FAITH, n. Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
FUTURE, n. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
HATRED, n. A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another’s superiority.
HISTORIAN, n. A broad-gauge gossip.
INCUMBENT, n. A person of the liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
INSURANCE, n. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
MAYONNAISE, n. One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.
NOVEL, n. A short story padded.
OUTDO, v.t. To make an enemy.
OVEREAT, v. To dine.
PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
RESIDENT, adj. Unable to leave.
SUCCESS, n. The one unpardonable sin against one’s fellows.
WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke.
WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government.
WORMS’-MEAT, n. The finished product of which we are the raw material.

*Photo courtesy jovike.